When an Only Child (or ANY Child) Needs 'More'
By Heather Idoni
Added Thursday, June 11, 2009
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The Homeschooler's Notebook
Encouragement and Advice for Homeschool Families
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Vol. 10 No 43 June 11, 2009
ISSN: 1536-2035
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Copyright (c) 2009 - Heather Idoni, FamilyClassroom.net
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Welcome to the Homeschooler's Notebook!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=================
IN THIS ISSUE:
=================
Notes from Heather
-- When a Child Wants More
Helpful Tip
-- Learning Programming
Winning Website
-- Grammar Book Site
Reader Question
-- An Only Child's Needs
Additional Notes
-- Newsletter Archives
-- Sponsorship Information
-- Reprint Information
-- Subscriber Information
=======================
Notes from Heather
=======================
When a Child Wants MORE
---
Wow! We had 15 reader responses to Michelle's call for help for
her 6 year old daughter who wants/needs more time and activities
than her mom thinks she can provide. After reading the replies
from readers it is obvious that this isn't a problem strictly
for those families with "onlies"! I think everyone will find
excellent insights and suggestions in our readers' emails to this
issue's question -- so don't miss it! -- Heather
P.S. -- My children just got a trampoline -- so that is good for
at least a few days of interest, eh? Might have even bought
myself a little time for myself. Well, actually the kids all
chipped in together -- they have more money than their parents
at this point! ;-)
---
Do you have comments to share? Please do!
Send your emails to: mailto:heather@familyclassroom.net
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==================
Helpful Tip
==================
Learning Computer Programming
"If you have a child who is interested in learning programming,
check out JustBASIC, here: http://www.justbasic.com
JustBASIC is an incredibly balanced compiler, that gives enough
power to make some really interesting programs (even basic games,
graphics, and Windows programs with dialog boxes, etc. or text
based programs), yet they have kept the complexity way down below
a regular compiler.
JustBASIC is a great place to start learning programming. And,
it's free. They have a commercial version called Liberty BASIC
(about $50, which is cheap for a compiler), but you can do a lot
with JustBASIC, and you can even distribute (i.e. sell) programs
made with it, too."
-- Jim McGinn, http://www.homeschool-guide.com
==================
Winning Website
==================
Grammar Book - www.grammarbook.com
Visit this site for clear, easy-to-understand lessons on the
English language. Users can choose to read lessons, watch videos
explaining concepts, and take quizzes to test their knowledge.
An excellent site for middle and high schoolers to review before
taking standardized tests, or for any student needing a thorough
overview of punctuation and grammar.
-- Cindy, http://www.HomeschoolingFromTheHeart.com
===============================
Last Issue's Reader Question
===============================
"From what I understand, most families have issues due to the fact
that they have several children and grade levels. I was wondering
if there was anyone else out there that homeschools 'only one'.
My daughter is 6. (When my 12 year old daughter, who lives with her
father, is home for visits, none of this is an issue.)
Our intention is to school at home, but we just haven't gotten
started yet, as I have health issues. Motivating her is not a problem.
I discovered the idea of 'table time' from a Yahoo group named Large
Family Logistics. Basically, it's a time each day that is focused at
the table on things like independent work and exploration. We have a
short list of things to do, but she wants M-O-R-E, and she wants it
now. She just can't get enough. I have one hour scheduled for this
daily. She does not read or write yet; the list will grow dramatically
when she can do these things on her own.
I run three businesses from home, take care of the house, homeschool,
etc. She's driving me crazy because she always wants to do more -- no
matter HOW MUCH we've done that day. (I am well aware that I should
be thankful, but overwhelm prevents that!) Does anyone have any
unique suggestions for ways to constructively occupy her time while
I work? We have two hours allocated when we formally start our lessons
-- 9 to 11 -- but that leaves much time that I'm not 'hands-on'
available and I don't want her watching TV or playing video games
all day. Thank you in advance." -- Michelle
=========================
Our Readers' Responses
=========================
"Your premise of being able to homeschool for 2 hours a day with
a 6 year old, and then being 'done' doesn't make sense to me. A
6 year old, even if not in school, demands much more of your time
than you are able to give now, with health issues and running 3
businesses from home. While you may need the extra income and your
health is important, your 6 year old needs YOU. Her entire world
is full of learning, if properly directed. Expecting a child of
that age to amuse herself in a productive way without direction or
other children around is not going to happen.
I would suggest that you find ways to let your daughter 'work' with
you. Simple food prep, folding laundry, cleaning the house -- these
are teaching, too. Make it a game. Then give her a reward when
you're done -- sit and read a book together (something above her
level), then let her draw her own 'storybook'. You can add words
later for her. Let her make paper dolls and develop a story that
she can tell you. Let her make homemade playdough with you and then
she can play with that for awhile on her own. Mark out a square
foot of area in your lawn and have her observe the critters that
live there for 10 minutes and draw what they look like.
There are lots of books out there with ideas for how to keep your
child busy and learning without your 100% attention, but she will
need you at least 'checking in' every 15 minutes or so to admire
her progress and redirect her to something else when she is done.
If you are truly not 'hands on' available, then perhaps you need to
make some arrangements with another person who can take her places
-- to the park, library, playgroups, etc. Homeschooling is not
intended to be a solitary adventure, and she needs the interaction
with other children and adults. Don't deprive yourself of this
precious time with your daughter just to keep those businesses going
all by yourself (perhaps you can hire some help?) -- she will be
grown and gone before you know it." -- Cynthia H.
---
"Goodness, Michelle -- you do have a lot on your plate! I might not
be qualified to answer your question, because I have two children.
But they are a boy and girl, and their personalities and needs are
very different, so in some aspects it is as if I am homeschooling
one at a time. We run two businesses out of our home. For starters,
I would suggest that you consider involving her in as much of your
work as possible. You didn't say what type of businesses you operate,
so I can't be specific, but don't underestimate what she is capable
of doing. If she can help you, you'll be surprised at how much she'll
learn, and the two of you will be spending valuable time together
doing something productive. We have a greenhouse, and our children
measure fertilizer, pick and weigh produce, and make out tickets for
orders. When we deliver, they collect payment, make change and record
outstanding balances. They help plant seeds, prune plants and study
with us as we're learning about organic pest control measures.
Then I would recommend that you observe her gifts and interests, and
let her pursue those. Does she like music, art, cooking, crafts,
gardening? Whatever she enjoys, let her go after it with a passion.
More than likely, in her areas of personal interest, she'll be able
to do a lot independently. You will only have to provide materials,
give initial instruction and supervise occasionally. Reading good
literature to her would be the best use of your academic time.
Singing or playing an instrument and doing crafts would be time well
spent also. Play games that use counting and simple math skills.
She can also do a great deal toward maintaining your house, which will
free up more time for you to spend with her. At the age of 6, she
should be doing laundry, some simple food preparation, dusting, sweeping
and scrubbing floors and woodwork, taking out trash, cleaning bathrooms,
washing dishes (either by hand or using dishwasher), taking care of
pets and plants, straightening clutter, easy ironing, changing linens,
helping with lawn and garden work, putting away groceries, and much
more. The time you spend training her in those skills will pay you
back many times over.
A pet would provide her with a companion and also the responsibility
and learning that goes with it. One of my favorite homeschool mentors,
Renee Ellison, has an article called 'Raising an Only Child for the
Glory of God'; it is available at http://www.crossover.ellison.net
You might find it helpful." -- Mary Beth
---
"This may sound a little weird, but is there anything your daughter
can do to help you with your work? I have 4 kids (ages 4-9) and I
help my dad keep his books for his business two days a week. While
the kids can mostly occupy themselves, there are occasions when they're
just not getting along. I have had them take turns working in the
office with me (learning alphabet order by filing papers, counting
money, printing labels, etc.). My dad has gotten on this bandwagon,
too, and has taught a couple of my kids how to stick the labels to the
packaging. They run out and get the mail. There are a lot of things
your daughter can do aside from school work. I think the biggest
response you'll get to your question is that whether you're homeschooling
one child or 12 children, homeschooling is a way of life. There is no
reason that your three businesses and housework have to be separate
from your daughter. If having your daughter help with your businesses
is not comfortable for you, you could also try setting up 'centers' in
certain areas of your home. Maybe she could have 30 minutes with the
baby dolls, then 30 minutes listening to a book on tape (and 'reading'
along, if possible), then 30 minutes with computer games, then 30 minutes
outside, coloring, etc. I think you get the idea. Another suggestion
might be that you don't have to do all of the school work in one sitting.
If you do it in 30 minute chunks, you can use it to alternate with the
activity suggestions I made above. Hope that helps!" -- Mandi in SC
---
"This is a difficult thing to deal with. It's wonderful that your
daughter wants to learn. I've homeschooled 3 children through this phase
of their education; here are some ideas:
1. Have her start a journal where she draws or writes about her day
according to her skill level.
2. Books on tape are great. They make ones with books for the child to
follow along that are great for the younger kids. Many libraries have
them to barrow or you can purchase them from Scholastic.
3. A LeapFrog Leapster is another helpful tool:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BTNQUQ?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
It's like a video game, but it is all educational. No matter what the
child is doing they are learning. From solving math problems to making
a fish swim to writing letters to get the princess to her palace. They
have games from pre-k through age 10 or so. If she isn't reading, I'd
recommend the ages 4-6 games. Even the older kids I care for enjoy the
younger games.
4. Educational computer games are also good as the child can progress
without you right there.
5. Lastly, some good play time is very important. Encourage her to just
play with whatever she is interested in.
Hope this helps." -- Bran
---
"I do not have this experience, but here is a great resource for
homeschooling only one! Check out this website: http://www.donnac.com
She is great to work with!" -- Martha
---
"I understand where you are coming from with all of your concerns.
I've dealt with illness, working from home and more. So I know how
hard it can be trying to keep up with your child's educational needs.
It sounds like you have a very bright and eager daughter, so first off,
I've learned that it's imperative that you jump on that eagerness to
learn before she tables it for good! I unfortunately didn't understand
that my son needed challenges (academically speaking) and I was holding
him back. In time, my not keeping up with his demands began to work
against me. He started to lose that 'drive' for homeschooling, saying
it was boring. Then I went through a great struggle to re-motivate him
to see the value of homeschooling. While some kids this young benefit
from shorter lessons, others are really ready for more and we have to
be attuned to that.
Some of the ways I helped keep things exciting and stimulating included
using a 'prepared' curriculum versus designing my own. The benefit of
a packaged curriculum is that you have a general schedule to keep you
on track and accountable to your child and where they are academically.
The curriculum we use (Seton) includes teacher services, so if they
think he needs more or less in a certain area, they will make recommen-
dations, etc.
The other plus of a prepared curriculum is there is usually a prepared
lesson plan for the entire year. I've started putting together the
lessons for the week in easily accessible folders, and each morning I
have a brief conference (going over any 'new' materials), then let my
son work on his own on the topics/subjects where he doesn't need my
guidance. Last year he worked his way through Reading, Phonics and
Spelling on his own, completed the year's lessons by March, and tested
out of them. He was much happier after being able to work on his own
terms and pace in the areas where he didn't need so much of my input.
Math, Science, History, etc. were the classes where I was needed and
therefore more hands-on.
Another way you can fulfill her need to 'spread her academic wings' is
through supplementing day-to-day lessons with self-directed curriculums
that utilize the computer or a CD player. Depending on your child's
learning style and ability, consider using some widely used educational
resources like 'Hooked On Phonics' products.
HOP has more than reading programs. They offer beginning level
foreign languages (French and Spanish), Spelling tutorials, Advanced
and Intermediate reading tutorials and more:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1931020752?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
The nice thing about these programs is that your child can work alone,
and as much as they wish, with or without you. You can even set your
child up with headphones and a CD player so that they can be in the
room with you, but with little disruption to you. Wonderfully, the
curriculum guides them through the lessons for the day. Each lesson
is about 20 minutes, but if your child is up for it, they can continue
on if they please, to the next lesson.
There are endless computer programs you can use to supplement lessons
-- and the best part is they're fun for the kids to use and can give
you the little extra time you need to make phone calls for work, etc.
while reinforcing important skills for school for your child. Checkout
www.softwareforkids.com -- they sell the more popular education
programs on the market. They have great reference programs such as
DK encyclopedias, Britannica, and Merriam Webster for kids and more.
Last but not least, if you're not already doing so, leave your child
with a box of craft supplies and encourage her to 'create' on her own.
Art is always a great educational experience and can burn up lots of
pent up creative energy. One of my favorite craft books on the market
is by Usborne books called 'Big Book of Art':
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0794514391?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
It's one of their combined volumes and has endless art and craft projects
for your kids to do and make. Usborne also has really good books that
make learning crocheting, knitting, cross-stitch, sewing, and more easy
for even the youngest to learn on their own.
If your child is more technical or scientific, the Magic School Bus
has a great science program that dovetails with their movies and books,
making it easy for her to work on simple, yet very educational, science
experiments on her own:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000MAIC1M?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
(Each kit has about 3-5 experiments with the needed curriculum and books
to accomplish them.)
Just some ideas that worked for us. It's a great challenge to have,
but get that spark and keep it alive now! It's easier than you think
if she's self-motivated. If she is not, and relies on you more, this
is also a great time to start easing her into being more self-directed.
This will serve her well later in her academic career." -- Nicole in MN
---
"I'd like to suggest audio books, especially those with the book
included. Even if your daughter can't read on her own, she can listen
and might enjoy the challenge of 'following along'. I've also been
seeing a lot on workboxes, though I have no experience with them; they
look great. Evan Moore has some books on creating 'centers' - file
folders or envelopes full of games, puzzles and such that are meant
to be worked independently:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1557997985?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394755103?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
Books by Peggy Kaye (Games for Learning, Games for Writing, Games for...)
also have some great ideas." -- Jen in FL
---
"I 'only' homeschool two kids, but they're so different they may as
well be two 'only' children, each vying for my time and always wanting
more, but never of the same thing! The only way I have found to get
anything done is to do it in the backyard. If your yard is fenced, it's
perfect. Dig her a sandbox as a weekend project, get a mini-trampoline
from Walmart, and tie a swing from a tree. Put a blanket in the shade
and bring out her favorite box of Barbies and some watercolours. For
you, set yourself up a table and relaxing chair in the shade and you
both should be happy for hours (up to six or seven a day if my kids
have anything to say about it!). If you need to work, make sure she
understands it is quiet play time, but as soon as you're done you'll
play frisbee (or whatever). Be sure to plan ahead for snack time by
bringing out juice boxes, granola bars, and apples, so it doesn't turn
into a half hour of wasted time. As for work, I have to drag them to
the table for one-on-one time and they're eager to be done and back to
playing. This has even worked in the winter if I sit in the mudroom
with my laptop, with the door open so I can keep an eye on them. Hope
that helps!" -- Liz
---
"Michelle -- Are there ways you can include her in what you are doing?
Could she help with household chores? My 6 year old dusts low shelves
and furniture, uses a Swiffer to clean the floor (easier than managing
a broom), puts away clean dishes, folds laundry, etc. I don't know
what your home businesses are, but could she work alongside you, either
doing what you are doing or doing a related activity at her level? My
kids love for me to save junk mail, then they happily open it, play
with the inserts (color, cut, rip, stick, etc.) and stuff the return
envelopes. Perhaps you have (or could find) an old typewriter or word
processor for her to play with while you are working on the computer.
Put a craft table near your workspace so she can paint, draw and work
on other craft projects, playdough, etc. Perhaps she would enjoy some
reusable workbooks and dry erase markers to work on printing and number
skills -- you can make your own by cutting the long edge of a heavy
plastic page protector and sliding it over a workbook page. Test your
markers first -- sometimes the Vis-a-Vis markers used for overhead
projectors wipe off better than dry erase markers. Lacing cards, beads
and strings (following and making patterns is a math skill), building
and construction toys such as blocks, K'nex, Legos, etc., puzzles, and
games she can play by herself, such as Boggle Jr., memory/concentration
games, or the 'Think it Through' tiles and activity books by Discovery
Toys. Books on tape, either borrowed from the library or ones you make
yourself, could be another great activity for her, especially as you
could customize them to her interests and things she wants to learn about.
Also, there are tons of free coloring pages and worksheets on the web.
Could you do some of your work in a location where you could supervise
her playing outside? There are lots more activities she could do in
your yard, and some fresh air and exercise would also be good for her.
Finally, could you rearrange your schedule so that you could spend more
time with her? Even 10 or 15 minutes of your complete attention each
hour for a story, game, worksheet, activity or whatever, would probably
be enough for her to be able to amuse herself for another 45-50 minutes.
Perhaps on some days you could arrange for a playmate to come over --
either someone close to her age, or a preteen girl who could play games
and interact with her.
Prayerfully consider your priorities and needs, and trust God to provide
the answers." -- Laurie
---
"I'm wondering if instead of wanting more 'school work', maybe she just
wants more QUALITY TIME with you.
Being an only child can get very lonely -- and when you're helping with
her school work, she's getting your undivided attention. Why not try
to involve her in more of the things you're doing. She might be happy
helping you clean the house or shredding paper, etc.
Just my take on it." -- Annette H.
---
"Try www.Time4Learning.com -- it is awesome." -- Linda
---
"Hi, Michelle -- I can relate; I have a very relational 6 year old
who would love every second of my attention. I also have a three
year old, and because my husband is a trucker, I am virtually a
single mom. AND -- on top of doing ALL the house things -- I work.
If your daughter is that motivated, you might find that an up-front
'investment' in short reading lessons will pay off big as she will
be a very contented reader. My Maddie says dreamily 'I love to read'
and she is tackling things way off her current level because she loves
the challenge. Because she was motivated, it was only a few months
from non-reader to independent -- about 4. Could you incorporate a
short reading lesson at her bedtime story time or over breakfast?
BOB books work great for building skills -- and she can use non-lesson
time to practice on her own:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0439845009?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
Maddie also really enjoyed audio books (including the Bible) -- we
raided the library for new ones all the time.
Also -- are there any of the daily tasks you do that you could quickly
train her to do? Can she sit near you and fold laundry, or lick
envelopes while you stuff them, etc.? You would be shocked at what
a motivated 6 year old can do. When my husband got this job and
everything fell in my lap, I needed to train my kids to do a lot of
things -- and it pays off quicker than you think. A book that helped
me on this was 'The Family Manager' by Kathy Peel:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399529136?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
In it was a list of household tasks that kids should be able to do --
a helpful reference." -- Karen C.
---
"I also homeschool an only child and at times find it overwhelming
to provide her with all the stimulation and activities she needs.
(She is 7). My friends who homeschool with multiple ages don't seem
to understand that this can also be a challenge. Here are some ideas
I have utilized to bring sanity back to my day (and allow me to get
some work done.):
-- If she likes arts and crafts I would suggest getting a box with
compartments and putting in various materials to glue or string
together. Be sure to change the items (or at least some of them)
often and provide paper that is sturdy to glue onto.
-- Provide a list of items she needs to find (in picture form if
needed) and send her on her way. This can be an outside or inside
activity. Sometimes I give my child a paper cup and tell her she
is on a 'miniature hunt' and that she can find whatever she wants
as long as it will fit in there. A themed hunt also works -- find
5 rocks or find 6 items I need to make bread.
-- Offer her ingredients for a 'no fail' recipe (such as fruit salad)
and let her put it together. Just be sure you're willing to eat the
end product.
-- My daughter loves science experiments. Sometimes I will let her
mix up liquid soap, shampoo and other liquid bath items to create
a new 'product' for her dolls.
-- I also write stories down that my daughter dictates to me -- and
then I have her illustrate them in her spare time. She also enjoys
'how-to-draw' books and will spend hours on her creations.
-- I spent some time (not very much really) and taught my daughter
how to hand sew, machine sew and do loom work. This will occupy
some time. The end products are usually not that neat, but she's
happy with them.
-- Perler Beads and Pixos are great and make terrific Christmas gifts:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001C2F5SM?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0019ICHVM?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
-- Fimo clay is extremely versatile and fun because you can keep the
creations (or make more gifts):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1550742744?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
-- I like handmade wrapping paper so sometimes I will give my daughter
a large sheet of paper and a theme and let her be creative. It helps
to have stamps, sequins or other theme-related items to work with.
The difficult part to all this is that sometimes it takes an hour or
so to set up a week's worth of 'alone' type activities, but the payoff
is so worth it when I have something on hand to offer her.
Good luck -- I hope that some of my ideas will help." -- Kajtryna
---
"Hi Michelle -- I am also homeschooling only one child. My son is
9 years old. Here are some suggestions for some independent time
for your 6 year old daughter.
-- My son has always enjoyed stories on CD with the books to follow
along; these will also speed the reading process. There will be a
great variety at your local library. Your daughter is obviously
very bright and hungry for knowledge. Creating a cozy area for this
is best. I have recently created centers in my family room which,
without my prompting, my son gravitates toward.
-- Coloring centers with buckets of colored pencils and crayons,
educational coloring books and mazes. A favorite website for these
is www.mindwareonline.com
-- Educational puzzles (Melissa and Doug are my favorite):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00009ZKRO?ie=UTF8&tag=hsaudio-20
I play classical music during this time.
-- File Folder Fun Center -- These are games that will teach the
basic skills for specific age groups. Each game has been designed
for fun and enjoyment as well as skill development. Finch Family
Games - www.finchfamilygames.com
You do have to construct these yourself, which takes a bit of time
initially, but they are really worth it. My son has colored some
himself -- and those are definitely my favorites. A much quicker
way for the coloring process is to scan the pictures into your
computer and use the Microsoft Paint program to color them -- and
then just print them out. My son enjoys these so much!
Good luck."
---
"I have only one child as well and I wish he was as motivated as your
daughter. One of the things he does love is the 'Time 4 Learning' web
site. I think she can get by without being able to read in the lower
levels -- it teaches letters and their sounds. The price is reasonable
and the format is wonderful; the characters are cute and engaging.
My son loves doing everything by himself. It is very child-friendly
and you are able to see their progress and print out the reports for
your records. He has progressed through the levels and is now working
at the 3rd level. Another nice feature is that you can go back to
previous lessons if there is something that they need to practice again
or work on with you.
Best of luck!" -- Gina
=========================
Answer our NEW Question
=========================
"I wonder if anyone could recommend any inexpensive (or even free)
home school placement tests that I could administer to check my
children's progress? I would like to discover any 'gaps' that they
might have in their learning to this point. Thanks!" -- Jo W.
---
Do you have something in mind to help Jo with her question?
Please send your answer to: mailto:HN-answers@familyclassroom.net
=====================
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